November always seems to be a month of reflection for me. With Thanksgiving and my birthday both towards the end of the month, I often look back over the year and I am always left feeling very grateful. That’s not to say that life is always sunshine and roses…there are twists and turns, highs and lows…but it is so beautiful to see how the Lord walks through all of these moments with me. God has blessed me with family, friends, and a home church in two countries to do life with. For almost 3 years now I have been doing my dream job. Even on my rough days I still look around me and think “Man am I lucky and blessed to be living the life that I am!”

At this time last year I was wrapping up my 3 week counseling retreat at Alongside. (In case you don’t know why I went to counseling, you can read about that here.) Several times this month I have thought about how far I have come in the past year. It would not have been possible without the grace of God and the people He put in my life. I can now talk about the accident without crying, and I continue to see ways that God has and will use that tragic event in my life for good. Whenever I tell someone about the accident, I am able to say with confidence that I don’t believe God wanted that to happen to me, but He did allow it to happen and I know He will find a way to use that event for good because that is just who God is (“And we know that in all things God works for the of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” Romans 8:28).

It has been really good to see some team members/friends this month who I missed seeing last year since I was stateside. One week we had a construction team from Northwoods Church and a gynecology surgical team. It was good to see familiar faces on both teams and make some new friends as well!

Last week we had a double barrio team which took some extra work (2 teams, 2 buses, 8 clinic sites, double the staff), but everyone had a great week and hundreds of patients were seen. One of the teams was here for the first time and came from Saint Francis Medical Center College of Nursing. That is where I got my undergrad nursing degree so it was special to have them here, and I am excited to see what is to come for them and SRI!

Life Update

I have been mentally writing and rewriting this life update all month. I don’t think I will ever be able to find all the right words I want to say, but I will do my best.

One afternoon this past spring I had the thought pop into my mind for the first time: “What will you do when you leave here?” I literally had to sit down on my couch….”What do you mean what am I going to do when I leave here?” The next several weeks I spent a lot of time in prayer trying to discern where this thought was coming from and what my next steps actually were. Before long it became apparent that I do have a strong desire to use my nurse practitioner degree to its fullest capacity. I currently use that knowledge and skillset on the side while working with Solid Rock; in my role as medical coordinator and our busy schedule, I just don’t have the time or ability to see patients on any kind of consistent basis. I want to be a confident and competent provider and that means I need to regularly use this skillset. Plus, I need to fulfill a required number of hours to maintain my national nurse practitioner certification. After I was able to admit all of this to myself, it was clear what my next step needs to be: I need to move back to the United States.

This has not been an easy decision and I still get emotional every time I think/talk about leaving the DR. With that being said, I have total peace about this decision and know with confidence that this is the next step that God has for my life….He has made it very clear again and again over the past several months.

At the end of June we had a youth team here from Northwoods Church (the church I have done all my short term mission trips with) and at the end of the week I went to the capital with the team. While I was waiting on the last few rooms at the hotel, one of the moms on the team asked me “So Sarah, what is your plan?” At the time I wasn’t sure why, but I just opened up to her and told her everything. How I felt like God was telling me it was time for me to transition back to the US when my 3 year contract is up, how I want to use my NP degree, that I need to find a mentor since I will have been away from US medicine for 3 years, that I want to work in a small clinic where I can spend time with my patients and really advocate for them….just everything. She listened to me and then shared with me that she is a doctor and owns a functional medicine clinic. She shared with me about her office and the kind of medicine they practice there…and then she told me she was looking for another NP to join her practice. In that moment all I could think about was 1) I love that clinics like hers exist and 2) God had heard the prayers I have only just started praying. Fast forward  2 months and I shadowed several days at the clinic while I was home for the summer, and on the day before I left to come back to the DR I was offered a job at Van Zant Medical Group. With total peace about the decision, I accepted the job.

So, what is next? At the end of March my 3 year contract with Solid Rock will come to an end and I will move back to Illinois. Dr. Van Zant has not only been kind enough to hold the position at her clinic for me until I move back, but she is also giving me a month after I move before I start work. In that time I will hopefully find a place to live and purchase a vehicle so that when I start my job I can be relatively settled. I am happy to share that Kelsi and Bianca will be sharing the responsibilities of my role here in the DR when I leave (Kelsi taking over medical team communications and barrio clinics, and Bianca will lead things at the clinic). These two ladies will do incredible work together!

In the coming weeks and months, these are some ways you can be praying for me:

• Please be praying for our staff. We have had a lot of transitions in the past year or so and that is never easy. I keep reminding everyone that I will be back, but we all know that’s not the same as living here and doing life together.
• Please pray that I can remain fully present for the time I have left in the DR. There is so much I am going to miss about life here and I want to soak it all in, not feeling sad all the time but instead remaining grateful.
• Please pray for me as I transition to life back in the US. I am so grateful that I know where I am going, and that the place is back home with my support system (family, friends, and home church all close by). That support system is going to be important…I know this move is going to be hard.
• I am not sure how to put this in words, but there is a part of me that feels guilty for leaving because there is so much that I would like to do here still. In my head I know that no matter how long I stay here there will still be work left to do…I need my heart to catch up to this fact. Please pray that this clicks for me because I know that it will have a big impact on me when I move back to the US if I can’t let that guilt go.